My Dear Brethren And Sisters: An...

Elder A. Theodore Tuttle ¶

Of the First Council of the Seventy ¶

My dear brethren and sisters: An English teacher at Ricks College returned a composition to a young man with this comment, "This is poetic and lovely — largely because of evident sincerity. Please give it to your dad." While it has more value for young people, its message is helpful to parents as well. May I share his thoughtful reflections with you? ¶

Love Lost

"Thinking back on things I thought I used to hate, ¶

I at last realize they were the things I loved: ¶

The days I earned my pay at a hundred twenty in the shade, ¶

And smelled the diesel of a tractor through rising waves of heat; ¶

"Saving newborn calves ¶

Wet and freezing from the January wind of an open country, ¶

Then watching them frisk when finally they struggled through for good. ¶

"I wish I could go back to change those things ¶

Which robbed me of a parent's pride, ¶

To love those things I once despised. . . . ¶

I'd love school and church and idle moments. ¶

. . . But most of all I'd love my dad." ¶

Joy in Home Experiences

I wanted to share this especially with the youth of the Church — you who are struggling to find yourselves; you who want to love your dad and give expression to this yearning but ¶

who do not quite know how; you who are a bit rebellious when counseled or restrained. ¶

Can you learn a lesson from one of your peers in the thoughts just quoted? ¶

Are you missing the opportunity of bringing joy to your parents? Are you robbing yourselves "of a parent's pride"? ¶

Can you who are still at home doing the chores and meeting responsibility and keeping the faith — can you find joy in these experiences and see a little more clearly how fortunate you really are? ¶

The Lord has semaphored from Sinai a great commandment: "Honour thy father and thy mother," and then the Lord included a unique promise, "that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." (Exod. 20:12.) ¶

Questions For Young Men

Young man, what are your answers to these questions: ¶

1. Is there honor in your home for those who bore you and reared you? ¶

2. Do you show respect and courtesy to your mother by never speaking a disrespectful word? ¶

3. Do you see anything wrong with being obedient to your parents, who are more wise and experienced than you? ¶

4. Are you maintaining the standards of virtue, honesty, and service that you have been taught? ¶

5. Do you willingly accept the necessity of chores you have to do, and realize that by the very nature of chores strength of character and self-discipline develop in you? ¶

6. Do you ever take the initiative to do the obviously necessary jobs around the home? ¶

7. Are you learning to study for yourself (not for the teacher or your folks) and to strive for excellence in your learning? ¶

Questions For Young Ladies

Young lady, how do you measure up to these questions: ¶

1. Do you carry your share of the household duties? ¶

2. Do you have really good visits with your mother about life and love and things? ¶

3. Do you do something special for your father just to show your love? ¶

4. Do you honor your parents by your modesty of dress and the purity of your life? ¶

5. Are you learning how to manage and care for a home? ¶

6. Are you developing your talents by practice and by sharing? ¶

7. Are you living the laws that will lengthen your days on the land the Lord gave you? ¶

Questions For Parents

We have been talking about children honoring their parents. I wonder if there is another dimension to this — parents honoring their children. Can you as parents respond to these questions: ¶

1. Can you rise to meet the challenge of teaching and guiding your own? ¶

2. Are you examples of the believers, practicing the virtues of ideal Latter-day Saint parents? ¶

3. Are you overly permissive, and do you allow your children too much freedom for their years? ¶

4. Do you indulge them excessively as to their physical wants and then expect them to be completely circumspect morally? Is there not a great lesson in the wise counsel General Robert E. Lee is said to have given to a mother regarding her son, "Teach him to deny himself"? ¶

5. Do you ask instead of tell your children to do something? ¶

6. When discipline and correction are necessary, do you reaffirm your love by "showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved. . . ."? (D&C 121:43.) 7. Do you teach your children "to pray and walk uprightly before the Lord," and also to observe "the sabbath day to keep it holy"? ¶

7. Do you read the scriptures in your home and reaffirm the authority of the scriptures in the lives of your children? ¶

8. Do you teach that the foundation of a happy home is laid during premarital days in the virtue and purity of youthful lives? ¶

9. Parents, do you know where your children are each night at ten? ¶

10. Do you teach by example and precept that marriage is a sacred and eternal covenant that should be performed in the temple of the Lord? ¶

11. Do you frequently tell your children, individually, that you love them? ¶

Your Parents Love You

Young people, do you know that your parents love you very much? ¶

Many of you remember a story told in the first Family Home Evening Manual. It concerned a little girl named Kathy, who asked: "Mother, why am I so stupid? I got lower marks than any of my friends, and I missed more spelling words than anyone else. I am the dumbest girl in the third grade." ¶

When her mother heard this, she put her arm around Kathy, led her to the couch, drew her down beside her, and said, "Kathy, we will help you more at home with your lessons so that you can do better in school. ¶

But there are things you can do very well. The fact that you cannot spell means only that you take after your father, but you are not stupid. Remember when you came home and helped me with the children, how they enjoyed having you tend them!" ¶

Kathy said, "Yes, that is because they are my brothers and sisters." ¶

"Yes, but you do it for other children too." And her mother went on to tell Kathy how well she succeeded and helped in the home. Then her mother said, "Kathy, you are very special to us." ¶

"Why am I special, Mother?" ¶

"You are special because you are ours." ¶

Why God Loves Us

As I was relating this story to a group of missionaries, I received an additional insight — I finally understood why God loves us. He loves us because we are His. He desires that we show the same honor to him that we show to our earthly parents — respect and obedience. ¶

Some years ago I heard an eminent child psychologist speak to a group of parents. She discussed how to establish the proper relationship between parent and child and gave many helpful and practical suggestions. At the close of the lecture she invited questions from the floor. A young mother, evidently bewildered by all she was supposed to do and remember, said, "I have not done many of the things you have suggested, and I am afraid I cannot remember or do all the things that you have said." ¶

This master teacher's reply was most comforting. She said, "Do not worry, my dear; if you really love your children, you cannot do anything that will seriously impair their growth and development." ¶

Family To Be Perfected

It is one of the salient teachings of this Church that the family is to be perpetuated and perfected in the eternities to come, and that we will enjoy our family relationships there as we do here, if we follow the Lord's plan. ¶

Youth, remember the counsel of the Lord. "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." (Exod. 20:12.) Perhaps we as parents must come to understand and appreciate that the mantle of leadership is not the cloak of comfort but the robe of responsibility. Perhaps we too will come to look back on our entire life as this boy looked on his youthful experiences, and come to know that his composition has meaning for us. I conclude with his words: ¶

"I wish I could go back to change those things Which robbed me of a parent's pride, To love those things I once despised. . . . ¶

I'd love school and church and idle moments. ¶

. . . But most of all I'd love my dad." ¶

I bear you my witness that we have a Father in heaven, that he is our Father, that we are his children, and that he loves us very much. I bear you my witness that his Only Begotten Son was sent to this earth to teach us the plan of salvation; that he was to live, to die, to resurrect; that through our repentance and acceptance of the plan of salvation, as taught by this Church, we could come back into the presence of our Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. ¶