Impart Of Your Substance To Those Who...

impart of your substance ... to those who stand in need — I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your prayer is vain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as hypocrites who do deny the faith." (Al. 34:28.) A perfecting law Yes, the law of the fast is a perfect law, and we cannot begin to approach perfection until we decide to make it a part of our lives. When you start and stop the fast is up to you, but wouldn't it be nice to culminate it and be at your spiritual peak for the fast and testimony meeting? ¶

How much you give the bishop as a donation is also up to you, but isn't it thrilling to know that your accounting with the Lord has been paid willingly and with accuracy? ¶

Satisfaction comes with obedience Why you fast is also up to you. But suppose the main reason was simply that you wanted to help someone in need and to be a part of "pure religion undefiled." Wouldn't your faith be lifted and sanctified? Of course it would. And incidentally, have you ever noticed how satisfying it is way deep inside each time you are obedient to Heavenly Father's desires? There can be no equal to the peace of mind that always comes as the reward for obedience to truth. ¶

The world needs self-discipline. You can find it in fasting and prayer. Our generation is sick for lack of selfcontrol. Fasting and prayer help to instill this virtue. ¶

The world's future depends upon an urgent return to family unity. Fasting and prayer will help to guarantee it. ¶

Each person has greater need for divine guidance. There is no better way. We all have need to overcome the powers of the adversary. His influence is incompatible with fasting and prayer. ¶

Joy in helping others There can be no greater joy than in helping others, for "inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." (Matt. 25:40.) And now, my dear brothers and sisters, although not as worthy perhaps, but equally enthusiastic in the cause we represent, I join my testimony with Alma of old when he declared: ¶

". . . Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety? ¶

"Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit. . . ." (Al. 5:45-46.) In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. ¶

A few months ago I had a most revealing interview with a lovely young college student. This young lady was the youngest in her family. ¶

All her brothers and sisters had married and left home. Her father was a farmer. She had worked on the farm each summer plowing and doing other farm work generally done by boys and men. This she did not mind, but now she was 19. She said she loved her parents with all her heart and would never do anything to hurt them. She said, "Bishop Brown, my folks expect me to come back home this summer and help on the farm, but I have simply got to find out if I am really Susie Jones or just Brother Jones' little girl, as I have always been. I have got to find out if I am a real person, if I can stand on my own feet and make decisions, or be totally dependent upon my parents." ¶

Here was a lovely young lady loved by her parents — there is no doubt about that because of the respect and love she had for them — but in the process of growing up, it would appear that decisions she should have been making for herself were made by her parents. Had their love smothered their daughter? Were they preparing her for the day when she would, of necessity, have to make decisions on her own? ¶

Give children training and experience in decision-making There are some parents who feel their children just are not capable of making decisions. How can children ever develop this capacity if, as they grow up, they are not taught and given wise guidance? ¶

Of course, good sense must be used in determining how far to go in letting a child make his own decisions. Recently, I visited with a young woman who is having marital difficulty with her third husband. This young lady has a mother who is still making her decisions for her. ¶

In taking responsibility Parents, may I suggest that we analyze our relationships with our children. Are we teaching them in such a way as to prepare them for the responsibilities of life, or are we protecting them to the point that when they find themselves on their own, they are lost? ¶

I should like to quote a few excerpts from a discussion Dr. Dana L. Farnsworth had with Lester David regarding parent-child relationships: ¶

"Your prime goal as a parent is to help your child grow up with the good inner feeling that he or she is a perfectly capable, worthwhile human being, able to stand on his or her own feet." ¶

Here are some of the rules he gives toward accomplishing this objective: ¶

"Give emotional support" ¶

First: "Give them emotional support when they need it most — right at the start of their life. ¶

"A baby comes into the world utterly dependent upon other human beings. ¶

If the help he needs is forthcoming promptly and consistently, accompanied by love, he learns very early one of the most important lessons of his entire life — that he can rely upon people. The baby whose first basic needs are met begins to develop a positive, confident outlook essential for later emotional health. Chances are that through life, he will have the feeling that things are going to work out well for him. ¶

"If parents are not warmly responsive to an infant, he is apt to develop a suspicion and a mistrust of people. ¶

He may later withdraw from them, refusing to be their friend, in order to protect himself from hurt. Such a person cannot become a warm and loving wife or husband. ¶

"Of course, when I suggest parents respond to their infants' needs, I certainly do not mean that babies must be hovered over and entertained every minute. Strike a happy medium." ¶

"Early start to independence" ¶

Second: "Start them early on the road to independence. ¶

"Once I watched a very small child trying to button his coat. His mother, suddenly aware he was having difficulties, quickly said: 'Here, let Mommy fix it.' And she did. But she also did nothing to help her son feel capable. . . . ¶

"You can help [a child achieve] balance by permitting him to try his own wings, while at the same time protecting him from real dangers. Let him stand, walk, climb, do as much as possible for himself, and praise him for his accomplishments. Have you seen the smile of triumph that lights up a toddler's face when he's done something all by himself — fixed a toy, carried a package or even just stood up? ¶

He glows inside, too, with a wonderful feeling of 'I can.' "As he grows, the child becomes more and more concerned with doing useful things. The things he achieves himself become crucially important to him. He gains confidence by trying and succeeding. So let him try out his basic knowledge and skills. Let your son try to climb that fence, build a tree house, manage his affairs. Let your daughter arrange her own social activities, even plan her own party. ¶

"Be sure, of course, that you do not expect too much of your child, criticize him with undue harshness, or permit activities that are unsafe at his age. . . . ¶

"To make up their minds" ¶

Third: "Teach children to make up their minds. ¶

"A twelve-year-old boy came home from school one day and told his mother he wanted to run for class president, but wasn't quite sure. That evening at dinner, while the boy sat quietly, his parents debated whether he ought to make the race, discussing the pros and cons and, finally, deciding that he should not because his schedule for the next year would be too heavy. ¶

"Too many parents do all or most of the problem-solving for their children. ¶

As a result, the child never learns how to make up his mind about things, crucial for good mental health. Every human being must make decisions all through life, and those who never learn how are seriously handicapped. "A child can be taught to make decisions by allowing him to do so as often as possible and to profit by his mistakes. In all of his day-to-day problems, let him understand you have faith in his ability to unravel them. ¶

Listen to and discuss the facts with him. Suggest approaches and give the child the benefit of your wisdom and experience. But avoid taking over his independent right to decide upon the clothes he should wear, school problems and the like. ¶

"Common sense should dictate the kind of problems best left to a child's judgment. Those with potentially serious consequences, of course, must still be decided by Mother and Father." ¶

Foster understanding Fourth: "Keep the lines of understanding open. . . . ¶

". . . [Realize] that each of your children is an individual, with his own abilities, personalities and needs. Don't expect one to match another's accomplishments; rather, help him take pride and pleasure in what he does well. ¶

"[Be] courteous to your child, listening when he speaks, respecting his rights and feelings. ¶

"[Present] logical arguments for your decisions. 'Because I say so' is a poor reply when a child asks why he is required to do something. Giving sensible reasons makes you a fair and reasonable person in your child's eyes. ¶

He may not acquiesce gracefully, but inwardly, in most cases, he will probably see your point. . . ." ¶

Commendation for doing well Fifth: "Commend them for what they do well instead of condemning them for what they don't. ¶

"... A 21-year-old college co-ed, under treatment for a severe neurosis, told her therapist: 'If I came home from kindergarten with two stars, Mother wanted to know how come I didn't get three like the day before. If I got four marks over 90, she wondered how come the fifth was only 80. ¶

"Psychiatrists know that many persons with personality problems report they too seldom received praise at home ¶

for their accomplishments. Rather, their areas of weakness were constantly being pointed out. Over and over, they say, 'I grew up feeling I couldn't do anything right.' . . . ¶

"Many parents feel guilty when their children do not turn out as well as they think they should. This is not justified unless they really haven't tried to train their children or haven't loved and respected them. Even then it is of no help unless it motivates efforts to try to learn how to develop better relations with them. Being a parent is not easy and mistakes are always made: they will not be too harmful if love and respect prevail. . . ." (This Week, June 19, 1966.) Sacred responsibility to children I pray that we as parents will accept the sacred nature of our responsibility to our children and that we will endeavor to apply love in a wise and intelligent manner, and, of course, to do this, the first requirement is that there is love and harmony between mother and father. Our homes must be a bulwark against the confusion and trials of the world. If this generation is to fulfill its destiny, it must be strong in the most important of all places and that is the home, for in Proverbs we read, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." ¶

(Prov. 22:6.) I leave you my testimony, my brethren and sisters, that God lives, that this is his Church, and I do so in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. ¶