Somewhere I Have Read Or Heard Of...

Somewhere I have read or heard of this remark by a woman who was observing a clean and manly and admirable young man. "I would give twenty years of my life," she said, "to have a son like that." The mother of the boy, standing nearby, overheard the comment and replied: "That is what I have given — twenty years of my life." ¶

My mind keeps going back to a sentence from the April conference address of President McKay, in which he said: ¶

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." ¶

Full Time Parent There is no easy way to rear a family. ¶

There is no way, really, to be part-time parents. There are other necessary interests and activities and obligations, but the responsibility of being a parent is ever-present and lifelong. (So is the responsibility of being a son or a daughter.) And there is nothing more rewarding than the sacred assignment of parenthood, faithfully followed through. ¶

With the home and family in mind, as emphasized so effectively last evening in the messages from President McKay and Presidents Brown and Tanner and by Brother Lee and Bishop Simpson, the counsel comes to us to teach our children, to draw near to them in love, in patience, in respect, and in righteous example. ¶

The counsel comes to us to re-emphasize the home — the first and most effective place for teaching the values and virtues and the lessons of life. This counsel has been given by a long succession of prophets and Presidents of the Church and by our Father in heaven over all the ages. ¶

"Keep the Way of the Lord" ¶

Of Abraham it was said: "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, . . ." ¶

(Gen. 18:19.) And through Moses: "... I give unto you a commandment, to teach these things freely unto your children, . . ." ¶

(Moses 6:58.) From King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon: "And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, . . . ¶

"But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another." (Mosiah 4:14-15.) "Walk Uprightly Before the Lord" ¶

And from the Doctrine and Covenants, oft-quoted: "And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord." (D&C 68: ¶

28.) "... I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth." ¶

(Ibid., 93:40.) ". . . set in order your own house, . . ." ¶

(Ibid., 93:43.) ". . . see that [your family] are more diligent and concerned at home, and pray always, or they shall be removed out of their place." (Ibid., 93:50.) "We have been so eager to give our children what we didn't have," said one observer, "that we have neglected to give them what they should have." ¶

"Ought we not to begin," said another spiritual teacher, "by offering our children those things that we did have? In our childhood we received maximum religious instruction. In our childhood we beheld examples of persevering frugality, hard work, and the spirit of pioneering on every frontier of life. ¶

Things were not just handed to us." ¶

(Rabbi Joseph H. Lockstein.) "It is in youth," said Benjamin Franklin, "that we plant our chief habits and prejudices. ... in youth the private and public character is determined. . . ." ¶

The idea that we can leave to children entirely to choose as to the essentials of life is an altogether unsafe idea. ¶

What agency or institution would be qualified to supersede the home? Where else would we go for the first seeds of faith? Where else is example so close, so constant? ¶

Foundations of a Happy Home There never was a tonic that would cure more social ailments than a healthy, happy home. There never was a greater source of social stability than an affectionate and understanding family. There never was a better way of helping children to happiness than the close confidence of wise and loving and responsible parents. ¶

Of course there are some who haven't homes. But if all the homes we have were doing what they could or ought to do, there would be less need for many agencies and institutions that are bravely attempting to do what the home should do. And before we create more and more complex social machinery, we ought to put the emphasis back where it belongs, on the oldest social institution in existence— the family, the home. And if more and ever more emphasis is placed outside the home, we shall have less and less influence with our families and more and more public problems. ¶

Among the most important privileges of parents is the making of a happy home, a place of understanding, of love and loyalty, not marred by quarreling and contention, a place wherever they are and however old they are, they will remember with warm and wonderful memories. ¶

The question comes at times as to whether or not mothers should work. ¶

Certainly circumstances would vary the answer. This comment from Dr. Elton Trueblood is of interest: ¶

"We know that the Communist philosophy of Russia has a clear answer to this question: that women should be employed exactly as men are, the state caring for the children during the mother's hours of employment outside the home. [But] because our philosophy includes other values, especially those of the home as a creative center, we cannot subscribe to this . . . doctrine. ¶

. . . Many women engage in work outside the home. But often they do it at the wrong time in their lives. ¶

There is a period when a woman who makes a home what it ought to be necessarily finds it occupying all the time, energy and imagination she possesses. . . ." ¶

How can we expect other people to teach and to build character in our children if we don't? ¶

How can we expect others to take their time and to inconvenienve themselves for our children if we don't? ¶

Sometimes some parents mistakenly feel that they can relax a little as to conduct and conformity or take perhaps a so called liberal view of basic and fundamental things — thinking that a little laxness or indulgence won't matter — or they may fail to teach or to attend Church, or may voice critical views. Some parents sometimes seem to feel that they can ease up a little on the fundamentals without affecting their family or their family's future. But if a parent goes a little off course, the children are likely to exceed the parent's example. ¶

Standards to Honor; Examples to Emulate "He who imitates an evil example," ¶

said Francisco Guicciardini, "generally goes beyond it; he who imitates a good example generally falls short of it." ¶

There must be standards and examples that are sure and safe to follow. To lead our children away from faithfulness, away from conformity, away from basic and bedrock belief is too much responsibility to take. ¶

Sometimes, later in life, these same parents turn and come closer to the Church, only to find to their sorrow that their children, having been encouraged in a different direction, don't turn back so easily — if ever. ¶

"Whatever you would have your children become, strive to exhibit in your own lives and conversation," said Lydia Sigourney. ¶

"We can do more good by being good, than in any other way." (Author unknown.) Mahatma Ghandi said: "My life is my message." Every parent could say it also, and every parent's life will be his message to the latest generation. ¶

One of the first essentials is for parents to be united in their objectives, of one faith and one purpose. "Do you expect, forsooth," asked an ancient Roman poet, do you really expect "that a mother will hand down to her children principles which differ from her own?" (Juvenal, Satires.) Any young man who thinks that a girl who doesn't believe as he believes will teach his children as he would teach them simply isn't facing facts. In marrying we choose the parents of our chile Iren, and we have an obligation to ourselves and to our children to marry those with whom there can be a oneness of purpose and conviction. ¶

"Joy in the Kingdom of My Father" ¶

We often read and quote from the Doctrine and Covenants: "And if it so be that you should labor all your days . . . and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" ¶

(D&C 18:15.) Now if it is a thing of such exceeding joy to bring one soul to our Father, how great a joy it must be to keep and bring back to him those whom he has given us. It is wonderful and essential to send missionaries to far places, but how could we justify not keeping our own? ¶

If it is important to be our brother's keeper, how very important it must be to be our children's keeper, the keeper of our families, those whom God has given us. When does a parent's responsibility cease? Legally we can define it, but is it over — ever? ¶

Home Duty and Blessings The family circle is everlasting, and so are its responsibilities and blessings. ¶

And so it is that the Presidents of the Church from far back have emphasized the home and have urged a weekly home evening. We have come to the time when it is well and strongly felt that there must be a re-emphasis on the home, and for this coming year there will be provided a gospel course of instruction for some of these home evenings for parents to teach their children. ¶

It is an act of greatness and heroism to hold a family together, to set before them an example, to teach them in ways of truth, to live a life of consistency, to provide necessities, to nurse and serve in sickness, to wash, to cook, to clean, to make, to mend, to counsel, to love, to understand, to pray, to be patient, and to do the thousand other unnamed things that it takes to rear a family, to make a house a home — and to do it every day, sometimes without seeming gratitude — and to lead a family righteously unto eternal life. And since it is our Father's purpose to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of his children, what could better be our purpose as parents? ¶

And what if it does take twenty years — or forty — or forever? What can life better be used for? ¶

There keep coming back to me the words of President McKay: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." ¶

Keeping a home, a family, going and together, is heroic. Thank God for faithful parents. ¶

To those who have somewhat withdrawn themselves, I would plead with you to turn again to know the peace and blessings of the faith of your fathers. ¶

To those who have never known, I would plead with you to open your hearts and your minds to the search for truth. ¶

"Come, O Thou King of Kings" ¶

In the words of the song the choir has sung I would plead, with you, that the King of kings may come and be mindful of us. In the words of another song, so dear to all of us, I would remember, with you, our President, in thanking God for a prophet, to guide us in these latter days. ¶

And, with you, I would bear witness of our literal relationship to God our Father, who made us in his own image, and to the divinity of his Beloved Son, our Savior, and to the gospel plan and purpose for bringing us back into their presence, for the wonderful association and limitless opportunities of everlasting life. ¶

And, with you, I pray and plead that we may so live and teach our children that we may have them with us, not one missing — always and forever — and I do it in the name of our beloved divine Redeemer, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen. ¶